Tonight I Give In

One of these days, I will sing Angela Bofill's "Tonight I Give In." 

Somebody walked into my life and he's right on time...
Somebody looked into my eyes and he read my mind...

So when will I sing the song?  On my wedding day.

Silently, but Sincerely

Today, I just read a transcript of a graduation address.  Now I wonder, will I ever have such an honor like that?  Will I be a keynote speaker in an important event? I guess not, I am not inspiring enough.  I do not have a rags-to-riches story.  I am neither a black sheep nor prodigal daughter with a story to tell. I was not a bully and was never bullied.

But I touch lives. Silently, but Sincerely.

Why do I say this?  There are people that I may have met in school, in an event, in my past jobs that I lost contact with already.  Then I suddenly bump into them and they approach me.  I am a bit forgetful, especially now with age, so they have to re-introduce themselves. Then I would remember them and where I met them, but sometimes I just can’t.  Anyway, when we start the conversation, it is always that they remember I told them this or that and it touched or changed their lives.  Huh? Me?  What did I tell them???

It appears that in casual conversations, I say things that stick to their senses.  Simple things like, “do not bring your personal problems to work,” “not all people understand you, so make adjustments on your end to be understood,” “don’t be too complacent with your partners, remember there are girls like me,” etc.  You can hear these things from anyone and read it from anywhere, I do not have a copyright on that!  But what surprises me is that, they say i said it to them and it somehow changed the course of their lives. Wow!

I am a regular girl/lady/woman.  I used to have above average grades in school (based on the institutionalized grading system), made it to UP, where my peers are often surprised that I get the highest grades in some tests.  You see, I do not look intelligent, I am a pretty girl, who dresses casually, but well.  I do not recite in class or head a team, unless there is no one else who knows the answer and I do.  I am fairly ok in my now, chosen career.  Not in the highest of the food chain, but pretty much a little up there.  I am sometimes feared because of the work I do, or sometimes even misunderstood as sarcastic, but I know in all of these things, I do touch lives.

In a crowd, I do not always get noticed.  I do not dress flamboyantly, that is just not me, plus the fact that I am petite, it is difficult to spot me in a crowd.  But in smaller settings, I never go unnoticed.  Always, up to this very day that i am at my forties, put me in a group, there will always be one man (or woman?) who will take notice and show admiration.  That is me.  And in these smaller settings that one gets to talk me, this is where I share my views and my life.  This is where you will really get a piece of me.  This is where I touch lives.

But I do it silently and even unknowingly, but sincerely.

I know that in this lifetime, If I pass before you and you are there in my wake, you will have that story to tell on how I touched your life with a word or two that I said.

And if I am seeing you from above, I will be smiling down upon you.

I still do not want the limelight, let us keep it to ourselves.  I touched you and you touched me, we are not on film, let us not look for the spotlight or look at the camera if its rolling.  Let us do it silently, but sincerely.  (So I am not particularly tweeting this post...hehehe).

The One Who Got Away and The One Who Chose to Stay

Parati na lang si The One Who Got Away
Parang wala na siyang maling nagawa
Walang kapintasan

Eh ako na The One Who Chose to Stay
Di mo man lang napapansin
Nandito ako at di kita iniwan

Eh iniwan ka nga ni The One Who Got Away, di ba?
Bakit ba hindi ka pa maka move-on?
Ako,  si  The One Who Chose to Stay
Is the woman who can’t be moved!

Eh kung ako naman ang mag go away?
Will you make me stay?
Malamang hindi
Ako na ang The One Who Went Away and Was Not Asked To Stay

P.S.

Dahil hindi ka pinag-stay, move on na rin!
The world is moving and it will not stop to wait for you.

4 days in 2 weeks do matter

Grey.  I had 2 weeks of vacation in July and I spent 4 days with you.  I told myself we are cool, no longer lovestruck.

Gambler.  In your 2 weeks of vacation, only 4 days were not spent with me.  It was a risk that you took and I fell for you.

4 days in 2 weeks do matter.  You either fall out of love or you fall in love.

41 going 14

I am no longer a teenager, but why am I acting like one? That is what happens when you meet a cute boy and you feel like a little girl all over again...

Pretending I Am A Third Party Perspective

One evening, a friend asked you to join him and another guy to chill out.  The other guy happened to be a cousin of someone you know and is also from the US and is now in town.  You said yes, why not?  The first time you met him, you found him gentleman enough.  You did not think of anything else, you were just chilling out, you said. He is the first cousin of someone you used to go out with!  He asked for your number and you gave it out of courtesy, no malice. Some of your conversation revolved around his family, who you somehow knew because you used to go out with his cousin, but he did not know that. The evening ended.

The following day, your friends from work asked you how was your night out.  You just said, “puede ko matipuhan yung guy, fits the profile, but he is the first cousin of ...”  You dismissed any more thoughts because that was just a single, chill out night.  By lunch time, you received a text from the guy asking how you were and if you can meet up again for the night.  You were distracted, not knowing what to do, to say... para kang 14 y/o na kinikilig! Goodness, you should have seen how you acted! And by the night, yes, you went out to meet up with them again for a night cap.  He was the kind of guy that when you texted that you were already in the parking, he went out to fetch you; when you needed to move your car, he accompanied you; when you get home, you would expect a text asking if you got home safe and would tell you that he had a nice time with you.

He did mention the night ago that he wanted to go out to a videoke, you said ok.  It was a Friday night, you were with your friends from work and you invited him to meet you up in a ktv.  Your friends were discreetly teasing you, but you were trying to dismiss the thought.  Then he sang, “Wherever you will go.”  You melted, in the inside.  You almost did not sing at all at the ktv because you were too self-conscious, parang 14 y/o na nahihiya.  Of course your friends never stopped teasing you.  He wanted to bring you home, but ... next time na lang.  He texted to check you out if you got home safe and sound and you were kilig up to the following day. Kasi naman may tight hug pa mag goodbye eh!

Next day, he invited you for dinner.  You agreed to pick him up.  It was really late, so it was more of post-dinner, chill out thing. It was the first time that you were going out just the both of you.  You asked if the friend is going with you and he said, “No, istorbo lang eh.”  Now you were starting to feel he likes you... He openly says he is enjoying his time with you.  You were funny, spontaneous, not maarte (where I beg to disagree!) at all.  Holding hands, a little akbay was fine, but when he started to kiss you... bang! That was when it all felt awkward; you just had to tell him that you used to go out with his cousin.  Being a guy, he asked if his cousin and you were still together, and you said, No and there was no commitment at all.  Then he said, there should be nothing to worry about.  He started telling you about his life too.

You felt the connection between the two of you.  It was fun, light.  He likes you and you liked him too.

The following day was an invitation for dinner again.  Korean dinner was it, but it was a threesome (the friend is in the picture...hahaha  I am sure you were disappointed in a way, what you were expecting little girl?)

When you quipped your funny retorts, he says, “Yan ang gusto ko sa iyo eh, lagi kang may sagot.”

“Yan ang gusto mo sa akin, ibig sabihin, may gusto sa akin?” you said.

“Oo naman. Bakit ikaw, di mo ba ako gusto?”  When this was asked, I doubted if you were able to answer.  Knowing you, you just smiled, rather, smirked and rolled your eyes.  (But in reality, that meant, yes i like you too)

Monday was your work day and he had other planned activities with relatives.  You didn’t see each other that day and that was sad.  The day felt incomplete.

 The following night was to catch up for whatever was lost the other day.  You picked him up after your work, asked for Chinese late dinner because you were craving for it, spent the night talking and being funny again.  He liked that in you.

Then he had to attend to other family activities in the coming days, you felt bad about it, not seeing him for quite some time.  4 days.... Yes, you texted and checked each other out, but you wanted him to be around.  He knew you were upset.  So the following night, may it be your working night, he wanted to see you and he did, he came all the way from Cavite with the trusted caretaker and a high school friend to see you.  He was making up for the missed days.  He showed you off to his friends, told them how pretty you are, how funny you are, how much he likes you.  He held your hand most of the time.  He even stole a kiss from you in front of the friends!  Yes, you turned red.  14 y/o eh!

The caretaker was a young lad who he had invited to join for drinks.  “O bat, natatahimik ka? Kanina ang daldal mo?  Nagagandahan ka sa kanya no?” he told the caretaker.  And the young lad turned red.  But was cool enough to nod.  The caretaker was even so willing to cook for you should you go to Cavite!  Hmm.. we can talk about your charms another time...

Time to end that night, he walked you to your ride, holding your hand. He kissed you and said “bye, i love you.”  You said the same, “bye, i love you.”  Now how did that happen???  You just didn’t know, but you know you liked him a lot.  By the time you were ready to sleep, he called, saying he was not sleepy yet and said nice things.  You had a little chat, but when it was time to really sleep, you said good night to each other and said i love yous again.  Then you slept, with a smile on your face.

Last night you can be together, he was bound to leave the country the following day. Once again, you met up with him and his friends, had some drinks. 

“Bagay sa iyo ang white, ang ganda mo.”  Wait a minute, is he being my fashion consultant now?  Ran in your thoughts.  You said thank you for all the admiration he showered you, whether he meant it or not.  Did I fail to mention that you found him good looking too?  He is.

He was really fond of you and was not shy to admit this to his friends.  You talked about spending the night  and you did.  The morning after was time for you to go to work and time for him to get ready for his flight that day.  That was goodbye time.  You never talked about the i love yous the night before, you just talked about going to miss each other.

But after all the date nights and sweet talk, you will realize at the end of the day that you are a woman of age and that you met a man of age.  You are a woman who had a child out of wedlock, who had fled from an engagement.  The man you met is someone who is divorced, who has three kids.  Now you said goodbye to each other, probably will be missing each other, but this is when you realize you are really 41.

My American Boy 3

LAX.  Again. July 22, 2012, 10pm.
"Here" I heard your voice.
I smiled, walked to you, put my arms around your neck...
"You are fat," I muttered to your ear, then kissed you.

From the last meet in Manila (refer to My American Boy 2), we were uncertain if we will see each other again, but here we are, in a familar meeting place, LAX.  I knew this trip of mine was really for my barkada in Las Vegas, but could I bear not to see you? Obviously, not. 

LA brought a lot of memories, mostly good ones and I wanted to create new ones too.  But this should be put on a different perspective now, what are we to each other? We are cool, not lovestruck. 

4 nights, 3 days. 

It was around 10pm already when I got out of Customs and of course you were there waiting at the arrival area.  What a relief!  I would have crashed and my heart would have crushed if you stood me up.  It was pure joy that I saw you again.  So we hugged and kissed, yes, right in LAX, damn, did I care!

Crossing the street, walking to your car, hand in hand... I liked that.  Seeing Becky (the Honda which you named impromptu after hearing the Becky stories I have), oh it was a so familiar sight and feeling! Yeah, Becky was a mess and simple reason ? You came from camping, fine.

Of course you asked if I was hungry and if I wanted to grab a bite first.  I was just too tired from the flight and was not really hungry, I just needed water, I said.  We took a pit stop to gas up, you went down and when you came back, you handed me 2 bottles of water. "Here you go. baby."  I still get surprised that you actually listen to what I say and act on it, given the chance. 

While you were driving, I asked you if you remember how I babbled about Twilight and Edward Cullen some 4 years ago and that now I am reading another book.  You just guessed it right and said, "fifty shades?"  and I grinned.

With no coaching whatsover, you were so Christian Grey.  While I was reading and tweeting, you just looked at me and said, "Are you done yet?!?" "Come here, now!" you ordered.  Gosh, so bossy!  You were getting into the role without me asking.

In the few days or nights that we were together in LA, you asked me what I wanted to do.  I got simple pleasures: movie, beach and In & Out milkshake.  Well, it is not always that I have simple pleasures, you know that. :)  You even called me ma-A ! for ma-arte! I protested, but you just dismissively laughed it out.


just goofing... at Universal City Walk



Dark Knight, movie date.  Where to watch?  I requested Universal City Walk and you frowned, but gave in.  I know, I know, it is a tourist trap and I had seen this place so many times ... but I just wanted to.... The brat won, as always, because you let me.  Light lunch of pasta and pizza at Wolfgang Puck (my choice) and just strolling around City Walk was enough. Good thing, I was not into going into the Studios this time!  It felt like a date and I liked it.

I promised myself not to go shopping and ruin the few days we are spending with each other  (because you despise shopping and I have saved my shopping energy with my friends in Vegas anyway). 

We  drove around the Hollywood scene to find a place to stay for the night.  Different hotels each night we were together.  Did I ask for that? No.  Were you trying to impress me? No. Talk about convenience.

So we were able to find a place for the night then went to a Thai restaurant for dinner.  What to do after dinner?  Party? Drinks? Bar hop?  For some reason, a 6-pack Corona did it for me inside the room, with a Mario Lopez show on the telly.  I know you are a party animal and you wanted the night life.  But I just did not feel like sharing you with all the party whores out there.  No shopping for me.  No partying for you. Talk about compromise.

Next item on the list. By the water.  What did you have in mind?  Lunch by the beach.  Driving around (again) to look for a classy resto to suit my taste. Gladstones?  Yes, we checked out the menu, but it didn't appeal to me.  (I am not into seafoods, remember? Unless you want me killed immediately.)

So... we ended up in Santa Monica, just so we can walk to the beach after.  To cut the discussion time on choosing where to eat, I saw Omelette Parlor and lunch had been decided.  They even had a burger named after me! (The Cha-Cha, for very obvious reasons..sigh...)

You decided al fresco, so we went to the back of the resto and trying to be funny, there was a small waterfall and water gushing can be heard.  "There is your "by the water,'" you said and laughed.  I rolled my eyes at you. Funny. Irritatingly funny.

It was time to hit the beach!  Coming from camping, you had a handy foldable chair at the trunk and carried it to the beach for me to sit on! How sweet.  That part of you did not change at all.  You were my willing Menandro. :)

The sun was high, yes, it was scorching hot.  Good thing, there was the cool wind and it felt just right. Summer. The one I missed in Manila, so here I am enjoying it in LA, with you!

I never wanted to really swim at the beach that time, just wanted to be "by the water."  Again, you granted that simple pleasure on my list.


Santa Monica beach

We talked a bit, but I don't recall what it was all about in detail. I just know it was about life-life (in Tagalog, buhay-buhay) while we were staring out to sea. (I was tempted to paddle board though.)

Being you and so on-the-go, you decided to drive up to Vegas that very afternoon, instead of the original plan to drive up the following day.  Because you are Grey and bossy, could I say no? Talk about submissiveness.

It was a 4-hour or so drive and just like 4 years ago, you drove all the way, all the time from LA to Vegas.  Are you being a gentleman or you just do not trust me behind the wheel?  Your answer, "Chacha, let's not even go there...." and laughed.  Why you... (FYI, to my knowledge I drive quite well for a lady, more like a man most of the time.  You just wanted that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus conversation!  And I recall asking, which planet are the Beckys from?  Uranus.)

My last simple pleasure was granted, a drive-thru at In & Out for milkshake. Yummy.  Did we share? No way.  It was a long drive to Vegas, but I enjoyed it all the way even if I slept 1/3 of the time.  We could have stopped over at Tanger or Primm ... but no, we headed straight to the hotel.

We booked a night at Excalibur Hotel.  "I am going to be your knight and you are my princess."  After a few seconds, you continued and said, "You are my queen and I will be your King..." I was struck silent and you noticed, so you said, "wait, let us stick to the knight and princess first..," "Whew.... that was a panic attack."  I guess you understood where the anxiety was coming from.  Talk about shock.

That night, we went hotel hopping, eating and drinking.  Excalibur, Luxor, Mandalay Bay.

And we woke up quite late in the morning after and breakfast was out of the question, so was the swimming at the resort.  It was about time to meet Cel for the day.  Driving to Joy's place in Coronado Crest, we picked-up Cel and had lunch at Chinatown.  The afternoon was spent going around the strip, Aria Hotel that smelled so good and I swore to book there the next time (wishing on a star), passed by the little wedding chapels (we both answered in the negative when asked), checked out the Stratosphere for their thrill rides (why didn't we go?), attempted to go to Caesar's Palace (because you have not seen it inside ever, but made a big boo-boo in finding the self-park and we ended getting back to the freeway...).  Since we had a show to catch, Ka! by Cirque du Soleil, we decided to just skip Caesar and go to MGM Grand.

We, along with Cel of course, enjoyed a happy-hour dinner, Ka! and some more drinks to cap the nght.  I had been drinking a lot of Coronas during the nights we were together, I noticed.  I was on vacation, so that should just be alright.

at Mandalay Bay

It was getting late and we had to drive back to Joy's.  I shall be staying in Vegas for the next 1  and 1/2 weeks and it was Grand Canyon day the following morning.  As you brought me and Cel to Joy's, there was the courtesy his and hellos with Joy and Liddy.  You were asked to stay for the night and join us at Grand Canyon, but it will just be too tiring for you to drive the 4-5 hour drive back to LA the following night so you decided otherwise.  Then, came the time for the goodbyes... Talk about something I do not want to talk about.

As you are about to leave, "walk me out to the car," you said.  Instinctively, I did, you did not even have to say that.  Out on the street, you leaning back on your car, took my hands and pulled me forward.  Locked in the tightest of embrace, you told me to take care, to have fun in the Grand Canyon with my friends, to enjoy the rest of my vacation, to squeeze the balls of the Chippendale for my boyfriend (that should be you, right? the boyfriend, not the Chippendale).  "I will miss you," I said.  No tears.  But this is it, the goodbye, the kiss, the embrace, the "until we see each other again."

I had seen this scene several times, December 2008 (Manila), January 2009 (LA), February 2011 (Manila) and now, July 2012 (Las Vegas). 

Sure baby, until we see each other again, until next time. 

My only fear is that next time, I may not want to let go of you anymore.

The End

or is it

the beginning of yet another chapter?

Family Shots at Gazebo Royale

Is your family a photo shoot fanatic? Mine is not, but in this age of digital photography, photo ops are a dime a dozen.  So, joining the bandwagon, we decided to have one (Coykee actually initiated it, we would have not really thought of such...).

One fine Saturday morning is the date for the photo shoot.  Venue has been booked (more of requested as a favor from Rona and family) at Gazebo Royale.  Yes, we had a theme and its simple, come in white. 

Dad checking out the venue

Well, not pure immaculate white, it is white with another color popper.  So I think Pipo did not get the memo and no color contrast to pop! So anyway, not a big thingy, we are fine with that.

Amara dressing up for the part

The family pictorial is actually more of an Amara pictorial.  She has always been the star, but nobody is complaining.



Amara and me

It was hot because we are in a garden/gazebo setting, sweat and all, but we do not really do this often, so be it!  Good thing, we thought of wearing white, so somehow it lessens the heat.

Mom, Amara and Me

By the way, pictures in this blog are taken from my Xperia S, not the photographer's!  You can wait for the actual shots.

model in the making

Maybe Amara can be a model someday, she is comfortable with the camera and can pose on her own!  We were surprised, more of amused rather at her posing antics. 

Pipo, Coykee and Amara



happy with Sultan and Abu

It was a quick pictorial of 1 hour only, but we are hungry to death because we wrapped-up by lunch time.  And as a traditional weekend lunch, we eat at a Chinese restaurant.  Again, we are not Chinese, but it is Dad's favorite so we went to nearby Causeway to fill in our hungry stomachs.

Gazebo Royale is located at Visayas Avenue, Quezon City.  Interested to check it out?  http://www.gazeboroyale.com/

Micro blogging via Twitter

So I have not been blogging lengthily lately, thanks to micro-blogging via Twitter.  No sarcasm there, just a matter of fact.  When time is of the essence, the little free time I got to write is already expressed via Twitter.  But wait til I get to sit down, ponder over things which are not work-related, I go blogging again.

Kathang Isip

Ako ay nalilito.
Bakit?
Ako ba ay may pagtingin sa iyo?

Hindi ko maamin.
Pero di ko rin maitanggi.
Dahil hindi ko maintindihan.

Dapat bang mamili?
Ikaw o siya?
Puede kayo na lang dalawa?

Nakakatawa.
Nalilito ako sa mga bagay na ako lang ang may alam.
Kathang isip ko lamang.

Kung alam lang sana nila.

May kalabuan...

The month of May has always been "may kalabuan." 

When there are things I am so undecided on and asked "when?" it has always been a standard response to say, "sa May, ...May kalabuan..."  I picked this up from a good friend's late dad who always teases me.  He asked me when will be the ninong to my wedding and he responded to his own question, "sa May?  kalabuan..."

So when I commit to things to happen on May, don't believe me.

The Cranberries Live in Manila

April 10, 2012.  The second time that Dolores O'Riordan and gang came over to Manila for a concert.  I missed the first one so there should be no reason that I miss the second chance!

I went to see the concert, with Noel (again) and some other friends.  The ticket time is at 8pm, but as always, the concert did not start on time not until about 9:15pm.  No front act.  Dolores came up the stage and wowed the crowd with Dreams, then Linger !  All the waiting pains panned out with those uppers!

The crowd was hyper but not unruly. I stood up the whole time of the concert, singing and dancing with Dolores (yeah, I have her moves...hahaha). I can't remember the whole line-up, but here are the songs that I sang to: Ode to my Family, Salvation, Animal Instinct, I Can't Be With You, Waltzing Back, Analyse, Just My Imagination, Free To Decide, When You're Gone.

I wished they played Sunday, Pretty and Promises too.  But too much for asking, the line-up was pretty solid enough, it is just that they have lots of songs that I really like listening to.

I also bumped into a former officemate Tek and his wife.  I do not look like a Cranberries person.  Same comment I got when I told my other officemates that I just watched it.  I don't know the hell why.

Maybe there are just a lot of things people do not know about me.

Is it really possible to forget, but not forgive?

Yeah, yesterday was a Holy Thursday.

Lenten Season.

Time of forgiving and asking forgiveness.

Is it really possible to forget, but not forgive?

This is my state of mind.

Usually the opposite or maybe just more than the ordinary.

I have forgotten him, true.

But when he shows up, I remember that I do not want to forgive him.

Is that a mean thing to do?

I am fine that he is no longer around.

There is no reason having him beside me anymore.

It has been a year or so, move on!

I do not like being stalked.

I do not like the dummy emails.

I do not like the sickness of using your children.

You timed it this period of Lent, thinking I will talk to you now?

Gosh, didn’t it occur to you I am not affected by seasons at all?

You just do not know me.

I owe you nothing, not even forgiveness.

Just do not bother me and I will forget.

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD) in Manila

33 years after, OMD was in Manila last March 10 and staged a concert in Araneta Coliseum. 

Who are the likes who would watch this concert? Me, Noel, Henry and other party-goers of the 80s.  Darn, 80s was a loooong time ago, but you cannot stop the party people from having a good time (even if we are already in our 40s or so!).

OMD had several hits, Secret being a pop favorite, but my personal favorite is Talking Loud and Clear.

New Wave and the 80s.  This is what parties were all about back then, the Brtish accent, trench coat, black eyeliner, spiky hair, skinny black pants. 

Cyndi Lauper in Manila

So when did I actually first listen to Cyndi Lauper’s music?   Way back in high school when Girls Just Want To Have Fun was a tremendous hit !  And high school was some 25 years or so ago !!!

Cyndi Lauper was in Manila.  March 17, she had a concert at the Araneta Center. 

Noel asked me if I want to watch the concert and I said, “not really.”  Maybe because I find Cyndi and her music old and something in the past that I can already live without, besides the fact that I am practicing frugality. But Noel asked, “kahit libre?”  Then I go, “baka patulan ko.”

I was actually a fan of her back in the day, most girls my age are anyway.  I so wanted to have her signature hairstyle, one-side shaved tic-tac-toe (well, that’s how I called it then), but the exclusive girls school I go to will not allow that!  I never asked permission though from the nuns, but I am just sure that won’t work. 

So going back to March 17 … Noel asked in the afternoon that we go and I said ok, I will just meet him up in Araneta.

The front acts were Lou Bonnevie and Rage Band. Wow, they still have it! Since most of the crowd here are at the mid-30s to 40s bracket, they sure enjoyed the music and can oh so relate. Shy Eyes?  Yup, an original of Rage Band.  I am sure the crowd was reminiscing the live concert scene in the 80s, because I was…

After the front acts, there was a lull of about half an hour and the crowd was getting impatient.  You can’t blame us, we are into our mid-life crisis moments!

Finally, Cyndi came in, greeted the crowd and opened with She Bop.  You do not expect me to be sitting on my chair!  So I bopped and danced and yes, there is a certain dance step for this song and yes again, the other ladies were doing the same step that I was doing.

Cyndi did her hits, she went down to the crowd several times.  After a few songs, she halted the band in the middle of the song and appealed to the crowd and said something like, “you see I want to come to you and sing to you, but please do not trample on me.”  She said this with no disgust, but with all sincerity that she wanted to sing for the crowd.

She was way cool.  Imagine a lady pushing 60 but still rocking it? Wow.

She was the type who would ask the crowd to sing with her too and was surprised how the crowd can get into the rhythm of her songs.  “I heard about this in your history, that spices and whatever else was taken from you, but one thing cannot be taken away and that is the rhythm that all of you have.”  Then everyone was singing, “true colors … true colors … are beautiful like a rainbow….”

Other hits she sang, All Through the Night, What’s Going On, Change of Heart. Goonies R Good Enough, Money Changes Everything, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Time After Time, True Colors.  She also did a blues number and a bonus, unrehearsed song to cap the night.

Thanks to the person who gave Noel the complimentary tickets, it was more than its worth.

When a Mom Loses a Child

A few weeks back, my friends and I were dining and were talking about movies.  They were saying movie lines that struck my heart.

A spouse who loses his/her partner is called a widow/widower.

A child who loses his/her parents is called an orphan.

What do you call a parent who loses a child?

None, because it is just indescribable.

I am a mom who lost a child 12 years ago. Today is my son’s birthday, he would have been 12.  The feeling of loss cannot be described in words alone.  It is too painful for any one to articulate it.

How could a child go before his mom?  This is a question I so like to raise every so often, but always end up with no explanation.  It is through faith alone that I accept the situation.

12 years had passed and I still cannot move on.  I have been in and out of several relationships after that, but something pulls me back.  I have dreamt of having another child, but the dream fizzles out even if I am in a relationship.  It makes me think, is it because I cannot find a fine man to have a relationship and a child with?  Or is it because I cannot move on from the loss of my child?

I think I will live with no man beside me, but my child who did not live long enough shall keep me.

My Son is 12 Today

Happy Birthday to my good-looking son,

Francis Matthew Romero.

Funny and Witty Amara

Facts:  I have a rottweiler named Chelsea.  I fondly call her, as a term of endearment, Baby Dog.  Amara is my 2 1/2 yr. old niece.

One day, I was teaching Amara how to read.  I have a Chelsea Football Club cap with the words spelled out in the logo.

Me:  Amara, look at this word (pointing to the word "Chelsea" on my cap).  This word is Chel-sea.  Can you say it?
Amara: Che-sea.
Me: Again, the word is Chel-sea. Chel-sea.
Amara: Che-sea.
Me:  Good.

After an hour or so, I talked to Amara again to test if she recalls the new word I taught her.

Me: Amara, do you remember this word (pointing again to the word Chelsea on the cap)
Amara: (nods)
Me:  Tell me, what word is it?
Amara:  Ba-by Dog (pointing on the word Chelsea on my cap)

The Scenes In My February

February is a rather special month for me where different scenes are played out.  I wonder what to do with them.

Scene 1:

Your father surprises me and asks about you.  Sigh...  I had learned to take this on in a less emotional way through the 12 years, but of course, there are moments when one's heart is most vulnerable.  When he said, "... kung puede lang talaga, siguro ang saya saya natin tatlo."  Your dad knows what to say, at the right time, with the right words, to catch my attention.

Scene 2:

For the second time, I asked another guy the question, "how would you feel if I tell you now that I am getting married soon?"  And the guy said, "sad."  So I asked, "why?"  He replied, "because I am going to lose you."

Scene 3:

In my dreams I see a picture of us.

Scene 4:

Out of nowhere, a guy who I already consider as non-existent sends me a text message, "I'm sorry."  Why can't some guys just move on?

The Good and Bad of my Tagaytay Weekend

A much needed respite from work has been decided, Tagaytay over the Weekend.

Again, me and Noel decided to spend a weekend together and this time, its windy Tagaytay City.  That was the plan, but there was no itinerary (wala ako sa mood mag-isip, pagod na ang brain ko over work). 

We started our Saturday morning around 10:30am, traversing C5 to hit SLEX.  Traffic was good. We reached our exit (Sta. Rosa) and of course had to pay the toll.  P175.00, that was bad.  It probably had been awhile or I never really noticed the toll rates !  (Or maybe I am becoming kuripot ? ... )

First stop, the inevitable, Paseo de Sta. Rosa. Good.  Hmmm... was it a stopover to eat?  Partly.  Of course, I needed to check the outlets!!!!!  DUH!!!! (with eyes rolling)  There was Nike, Adidas, Speedo, and other shops.  I had been very frugal and had not bought any apparel for the whole month of January.  I hopped from one store to another, but didn't find anything I really like. Bad. 

What I got was the Millenium Trilogy of Stieg Larsson from National Book Store, which I could also buy in other bookstores in Manila.  Noel bought something from a sports store, kinda like a glove to use for lifting weights (so feeling naman niya lalaki ang katawan niya dahil dun? hmp! tapos aalaskahin niya ako na mataba ako! hmp!)

Time to eat lunch, Noel and I tried Big 30.  Because I am into the less-to-no-red meat diet, trying-to-be-healthy kinda phase, we settled for Veggie Meatball Pasta and Hungarian Sausage Pizza.  Good. 



halfway through the pizza

The pasta was surprisingly and interestingly delicious.  The pizza just had the right cheese and crust into it. No sugary drinks for both me and Noel, though they have that Iced Tea Tower.... sigh ....



After the hearty and healthy lunch, we set off for Tagaytay.  Aside from the respite, the more important reason for going to Tagaytay was buying freshly grind coffee (that's Noel's objective, not mine, but he doesn't know where the place was, so he needed me).  So, the first thing we did in Tagaytay was to go to Mahogany Market.  We looked and looked and asked and we found the stall selling coffee beans na may libre giling according to the signage.  Si Ate ba ang gigiling???  They were selling Hazelnut, Robusta, Barako and I forgot the other variant.  We ordered, pero bakit di gumiling si Ate?  Can I assert my consumer right against the faulty advertising? Hahaha. 

at Statbucks with Kat

Next agenda, Starbucks Coffee.  There are several branches already, we went to the first branch along the highway beside Pancake House, Teriyaki Boy, etc. - that Starbucks, ok.  Lotsa people on the open-air second floor area, the place was crowded. Bad.  I chanced upon a recently vacated table at the ground level, at the back and took it.  While waiting for Noel who queued for the restroom, I heard a familiar voice and was surprised to see Kat Ancheta.  Good. She was with Namron and other friends.  We shared our table with them, remember the place was exremely crowded?

Coffee, coffee, coffee. 

No place to stay yet for me and Noel so we had to leave Starbucks and scout a room for the night and left Kat and gang at Starbucks.  We didn't plan this out so nothing was pre-booked.  Pricey hotel, not on our list for the weekend.  We knocked on several lodges/inns and we ended up at John Peter Bed and Breakfast. It was almost just along the highway, fairly new place.  Regular room rate at P2,000/night with breakfast for 2 (kaya nga bed and breakfast, di ba?). Clean room and toilet, with cable TV, aircon is working, clean sheets. Good.  Wi-fi only at the lobby. Bad.

(Note:  I checked this out in the web when I got home johnpeterbandb.blogspot.com and noticed that the online rate is a lot more expensive. Regular room rate was at P2,800, compared to our walk-in rate of P2,000.  I suggest not to be giddy with online bookings and do your pre-work and call first to check rates.)

We settled and rested and showered (no indecency involved) before heading out for dinner.

Then the disaster. RSM Lutong Bahay.  BAD, BAD, BAD. You may just read the earlier blog http://charmaineromero.blogspot.com/2012/01/eeww-at-rsm-lutong-bahay-tagaytay.html.  I no longer want to re-tell that story...eeeewwww....


drinks for the night

We left the car at the RSM parking lot and decided to walk to the nearby restos/bars for drinks.  I lost appetite for food, so it just had to be more alcohol for me and Noel. There was this small open bar at the back of Pancake House and Starbucks where the customers were mostly foreigners.  (Darn, I can't remember the name of the bar, anyway ...) We tried it out.  They have their own brew which Noel tried, it tasted like cider beer.  I went for a staple, no fail drink, Corona. 

Noel didn't finish the house beer. Bad.  It didn't appeal to his taste buds.  This bar does not have its own washroom, so one has to go to the adjacent Knuckle's Bar to relieve oneself. Bad.  I did not like the restroom, but just had to go.

So we just chatted and chatted.  I no longer recall what our topics were.  We were not drunk or anything, its just that when you grow older, your memory fails you or you are no longer interested in what one has to say.  Hahaha.

Maybe we were just people watching?

at the bar

What-e-ver.

After the 1 drink each at the bar (we had 1 drink each too at RSM), we decided to go back to the B&B place.

It was just past 10pm, Noel requested for Massage Service, not from me, but room service. There was an Ate available. Good.  So while Noel was having his massage, I was just at the other side of the bed, reading a book (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo).  We are a strange couple (couple in another sense of the word).  My eyes got tired reading the book and decided to sleep, while Ate was massaging Noel just beside me.  I thought Ate was weirded out... (Hinalay kaya ni Ate si Noel? or ni Noel si Ate?  I wouldn't know...)  The room service massage cost Noel P400, but the massage ain't good, it was so-so...or because there was no happy ending?  Nyahahaha.

Morning, inevitably came.  We waited for our breakfast of Daingsilog / Coffee and Tapsilog / hot cocoa.  It lacked taste, rather, it lacked salt.  Maybe the cook knew that I was into dieting and trying to live and eat healthy.  Noel has always been eating healthy anyway.

After breakfast, we started getting ready (Noel complained that I took a bath too long.  Eh ang sarap kayang maligo!) and packed our things to leave.  Our next agenda, Bag of Beans.



drinks for the day

Late morning coffee as it was already 10:45am or so on my dial.  But the place was just perfect for that. Good.

We just had eaten at the hotel so we were not craving for brunch.  Caramel Macchiato for me and the regular roasted coffee for Noel.  Well, plus the apple pie which Noel was fond of, he even bought some pies for take-out.


in matching blue shirts

Though Bag of Beans offers a menu from breakfast to lunch, we were not really hungry even if we stayed there until lunch time just chatting and people watching again.


There were a lot of customers, families, group of friends, couples, name it. (This is also another staple location, more of an institution already, that one goes to when in Tagaytay.) I also noticed foreigners being toured by Pinoy friends.


Bag of Beans' menu


There were these children from Children's Joy Foundation who performed for the customers.  They sang Price Tag, Super Bass and a thank you song.  Very Cute. The foundation aims to help children orphaned by their parents (Bad) and were soliciting donations.  I hope our little donation goes a long way for these children.

Children's Joy Foundation

We stayed at Bag of Beans for awhile, we were not really rushing or anything, no strict itinerary.  The ambiance was relaxing.

I would always come back to this place, it has that IT factor that makes one's Tagaytay visit complete. Good. 

I know Noel frequents this place too, but this was the first time we went together.  Noel and I are NOT always together.  We do not have to be together. (I shall validate this thought one of these days)

me and my caramel macchiato

(Side note:  I always have an insect repellent of sorts in my bag and it came very handy.  Because of the trees, plants, etc.  one might complain of the insect bites, well if you have ma-arte skin like me you will surely complain, so you'd better be ready at all times.  Aside from the insect repellant, I learn to bring Tea Tree Oil na rin whenever I travel, in case I get the insect bites.)
  





Noel (in his becky blue shirt)





Chacha (na wala ng bewang)


After and hour and more, we decided to leave and head to Sonya's Garden and Spa.

It was around 1pm already and maybe time for lunch?  We got to Sonya's alright and first thing, we checked out was the Country Store as Noel had the objective of getting the linen spray. (May kalandian lang talaga itong si Noelski...) There were all these soap variants from whitening to rejuvenating to whitening to refreshing to whitening... are Pinoys into getting their skin white, really?  We also went to the Panaderia bakery to get some bread and other pasalubong.  I got the choco muffin, piaya, Noel got the freshly baked pandesal.  Pricey, yes. Tastes good, yes.

We were still so full and opted against the buffet and just decided to leave Tagaytay and maybe grab a bite on the way back to Manila.  While inside the vicinity, I was scratching and sniffing ... darn, the hives!  I did not know what I am allergic to this time.  Noel insisted that I take my anti-histamine already as we were not familiar of the hospitals here should I need to be rushed to ER !  So I drugged myself. Bad.

(Side note: I always travel with anti-histamine drugs too.)

Heading back to Manila via the Sta. Rosa exit, we caught the Lou Mar's signage.  We were intrigued at the Buko Pie box we saw some people were carrying at Starbucks the day before and were wondering where to get it.  We got tired of the Colette's Buko Pie already and wanted to try something else.  So when we saw the sign, we stopped and bought 1 box each to try it out.  (Got to taste this and what can I say?  It is as sweet, sugary as Colette's too, but creamier in consistency)  It was at P160/box of buko pie or buko tart, freshly baked (and was still warm until we got home).

We also stopped to buy nilagang sweet corn along the road. 6 pieces for P100. (Just to compare, the sweet corn being sold along Katipunan is way sweeter and softer at P50/bag which has about 4 pieces)

Sunday traffic at Silang towards Sta. Rosa was light. Good.

We just had to stop at Solenad.  Well, we haven't had lunch yet, remember?  We checked out the restos (Yellow Cab, Recipes, to name a few) and decided to eat at Chubby's Rib Shack.

I got the Chili cheese dogs, Noel got the Chili wings.  Nothing spectacular.  I liked the cheesecake flavor ice cream though.  If there is anything else I remember, our server's name was Jona.  She is 21 y/o and was just fresh out of college.  The servers here are mostly pretty, young girls wearing denim shorts.  I believed that Noel enjoyed the visual treat more than his food.

Time to go shopping !!!! Woohoo!!!!  There was Aldo, Nine West, Payless, Stoked, and many more !!! Good. So we went around, from one shop to another checking out the wares.  To my dismay, I wasn't able to get anything (again).  There was just one pair of shoes I fancied at Nine West and they did not have my size. Bad.  At least I was able to hold off myself from buying a skimboard at Stoked. 

Speaking of Stoked, Noel tried the long board and almost bought one too.  The long board is like a skateboard, but longer, so there is different way to make it move.  If Noel is into skateboards, longboards, I was into skimboards, surfboards.  Notice the difference?  Concrete vs. Water.

Noel did try on a few pairs of shoes too, but we were not successful and bought nothing.  So it was about 4:45pm already and we called it a day.  So back to Manila we go.

At SLEX, the drowsy effect of the anti-histamine was kicking in and I just dozed off. According to Noel, the traffic was really light. Good.

I was at my doorstep by 6pm.  Noel paid the courtesy hi and hello to my folks and set-off.

It was a good and bad weekend, but we should do it again.

You can tag along wiht us the next time. :)

Eeww at RSM Lutong Bahay, Tagaytay

RSM used to be a favorite spot for me whenever I am in Tagaytay.  It is one of my default places to bring balikbayans or tourist friends to. But not anymore.

Over the weekend, my friend Noel and I went to Tagaytay.  We decided to have bulalo for dinner at RSM and so we went.  We ordered bulalo and inihaw na tilapia.  It started well, the soup was hot and perfect for the chilly evening weather.  One serving each for me and Noel, soup, some veggies and a little meat.

It was good and I decided for the second serving.  Lo and behold ! What did my ladle scooped this time around?  TABLE NAPKIN on our bulalo soup! EEEWWWWW...

We immediately called the attention of the server to complain and first thing he asked, "Sigurado ba kayo na dyan nanggaling yan?"  WTF!!!!! Would I invent such a story and ruin my dining pleasure???  Of course I retorted, "Oo naman."

Another waiter came and checked my complaint.  He took the bowl and said that he will just cancel the order since I do not want a replacement.  Ef! I cannot bear to eat a replacement bulalo from the same kitchen!

We lost the appetite to eat and no longer able to finish even the tilapia and decided to check out and just go for drinks elsewhere.  Lo and behold part 2 !  When I got the bill, the bulalo order was not cancelled at all!!! Again I asked why it was not cancelled when they offerred it minutes back.  "Hindi po pumayag na i-cancel, binigyan na lang po namin kayo ng discount." 

"Eh sabi mo kanina, i-cancel mo?!?" I asked.  "Kasi po kami ang magbabayad nun," the waiter replied.

Darn !  So, I should have mercy for the waiter who will pay for the bulalo and I just need to settle for the 20% discount?????

Well, I did.  I did not want the argument and ruin my weekend in Tagaytay.  We left the place and we are never coming back. Ever.

(This happened January 28, 2012 around 8pm.  Too bad, I was not able to get a picture of the bulalo and did not bother to get the names of the servers.)

Mission Impossible?

And I asked, "how would you feel if I tell you that I am getting married soon?"
"Malungkot, kasi dapat ako yun" you replied. "Pero I will be happy na rin because I know you will be happy and will get what you want."

Sometimes I wonder why we are making our lives difficult for us.  It breaks my heart.  Either things are impossible for us or we do not make things possible.

50K Frugality Challenge

Yes, this sounds absurd to everyone who heard me say it.  I am pegging a 50k all-in frugality challenge for 2012. I SHOULD only spend 50k for 2012 on clothes, shoes and bags.

My only disclaimer, that the 50k cap excludes purchases made abroad. (And I'm planning a trip to LA this year, hahaha)

No one believes I can do it, a single, some-kinda -brandy-but-simple-bag will already consume the budget.  But there's the challenge ! I will not buy a some-kinda -brandy-but-simple-bag this year (at least not in the country, remember the disclaimer?).

Some friends want to even bet on it, that I cannot make it ! Well, think about their own scheme to make their money.... hahaha.

It's a week into 2012 already and I had started avoiding the year-end sale all over, struggling perhaps is more appropriate word to describe the situation I am in.

A girl can never have enough clothes, shoes and bags, right? No, no, no ! C'mon, support me in this, I can do this! (maybe a novena prayer will help).